Waiting for a Baby...

I almost feel badly posting this because now that I understand the feeling of wanting to be pregnant, I feel even worse for women who spend years, waiting for a baby.  It took us only a short three months to get pregnant with the previous baby and the day we found out, you would have thought it had taken us years.  I screamed and yelled and jumped and basically made of fool of myself.  Fortunately it was only in front of ELH and ABH, so that was good.  From that point I was so relieved to be done with "trying" that I couldn't stop smiling.  What you might be thinking is that "trying" is the fun part, and it is.  It is the waiting that is the hard part, not the "trying".  I think that's where people get confused when couples complain about having to "try" to get pregnant.


Let me give you a rundown of my typical "trying" month.


How many days until my period start?
How many days long will my period be?
When will I be ovulating?
How much time do I have/what is our schedule when I'm ovulating?
(throughout the month we have the "trying" part but is is extra important during ovulation) 
How many days until my period is supposed to start?
(followed by days of "thinking" I'm getting my period or thinking that I'm pregnant)
All of this is completed by my period of arriving, disappointment, small bouts of depression, then another countdown until my period ends so I can start it all over again.


So, if you can see how it goes, the "trying" is no problem, it is the waiting.  So, when you hear people say they are tired of "trying", truly they are tired of waiting.  Every month, waiting.  Every day, waiting.  


After losing the baby, I wasn't sure I would want to "try" or wait  for anything.  I wanted the baby I had been pregnant with on the due date I was due.  Once I accepted that, that was virtually, no totally impossible, I knew I was heading into the "waiting" game again.  


Month, after month, after month, waiting.  It is saddening, frustrating, depressing, stressful and miserable.  I know it shouldn't be, or it shouldn't be made to feel that way, but try to get pregnant and you'll understand.  Multiple all those feelings, times the amount of time a couple has been "trying" and you might better understand your friends/family members that have been "trying" and you might understand their frustration.  Maybe it will stop you from saying "What's the problem, trying is the FUN part."