It is weird, why I didn't bother "unjoining" the "What to Expect" newsletter after my miscarriage. I guess I didn't want to do it, didn't want to finalize it and really have to remove everything that reminded me of the pregnancy. It didn't hurt to see the weeks, well, until now.
Today would have been 40 weeks. Which means the baby would have, could have, might have been here by now.
Sometimes you don't know what is wrong but you know something is wrong and today is one of those days. I knew I was 40 weeks, but I didn't think it would bother me. I'm pregnant again, I'm blessed with another chance, why would I be bothered. I can understand if I hadn't gotten pregnant yet, but I am so I'm happy, right?
It still hurts. It is still sad and I still miss the baby that never was, that might have been here with me now, as I would have been typing something totally different. Or, since I started this from my miscarriage, I wouldn't have been typing anything at all.
I, too, would be 40 weeks now if i had not miscarried. And I'm now 13 weeks pregnant! I'm still thinking "I should have a newborn right now" although I haven't been able to tell anyone. They wouldn't understand and I'm so glad that someone does! I'm happy that I'm pregnant (Even though it's not fun, the end result will be worth it) but I can't help but be sad for the one I've lost. I still have the ultrasound pictures. I also want to tell you about a site mollybears.com. It's weighted bears for moms of angel bears. Totally free, although they ask for donations. I think it will help to have something tangible to remember the baby. They open up the waiting list at the end of the month so you can order on if you want. How far along are you in your pregnancy?
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