How is it, that after everything, people can still say "Try Not to Worry" and expect that to help someone.
First, we had blood work done that showed high levels and based on the high levels that were present there was a chance of spina bifida so I had to go in the very next day for an ultrasound to check out everything. I had 24 hours of stress and then went into the DR office for them to tell me they couldn't see anything "at this point" in my pregnancy so I should just "Try Not to Worry" about things.
Now, I went in for an ultrasound because I am measuring 32 weeks and I'm only 27 weeks. The chances of it being because of anything were slim, so it wasn't a big deal but they just wanted to make sure.
During the ultrasound for the size issue the nurse stops talking and just starts focusing on hands, feet and mouth photos. Of course, I knew that was weird and then the DR came in and pulled up five screens on the monitor, didn't talk and just ran through snap shots of these five screens. As he finishes he says "You have amniotic bands, nothing tangled in them at this point, so TRY NOT TO WORRY." and he walked out.
Well, of course I freaked out, cried, stressed and ended up yelling at some poor girl who decided to be rude to me at the DR office. My DR finally calls and explains amniotic bands and what the findings mean. Here is a quick overview for those of you that don't know and I can bet most of you don't know.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amniotic_band_syndrome
My DR assured me that since there wasn't anything caught in the bands "at the moment" then there wasn't anything to worry about for now.
WHO can say that to a pregnant woman? What isn't there to worry about? I'm worried about everything without any syndrome or problem. There is a living being inside me, HOW am I supposed to not worry about it? My other favorite is "Try Not to Think About it." How is that a possibility? Somehow I can put being pregnant out of my head? I know people mean well, but come on.
Well, I stayed up and cried all night. Cried because I can't do anything about it, because I can't NOT worry about it, cried because I don't know what to do, because I don't want to just wait and see what happens. Of course, cried because I'm hormonal is at the top of that list though.
I head into the DR on Wednesday to do a follow up. I'm going to request/insist on another ultrasound so that someone can show me what is going on. I want a DR that will run me through what they are seeing and what that means. I want to check on the baby one more time and I want them to show me that nothing is or something is, wrong.
In the meantime, I'm frustrated, sad, stressed, tired, exhausted and miserable. I think that it was enough to try NOT TO WORRY about this baby not dying (after the last one) and then NOT to worry about this too is just asking a lot. Don't get me wrong, I know it "could be worse" and there are other women who suffer more, lose more, have less and deal with things I couldn't imagine but for now, this is too much for me, personally.
